Dear H and W,
Shipeng was in coma from 5/14 and he passed away peacefully Tuesday 5/26 10:10 PM. I am grateful that H was able to come and spent Saturday 5/16 with him.
While Aurea and I were trying to overcome shock and survive the darkest time in those days. I had the most dreaded feeling about having to make end of life decision for him.
The doctor we tried to contact in Southwest medical center for second opinion did not have anything hopeful to tell us. So I consulted a neurologist, who is a very kind Chinese lady. Both essentially confirmed what Dr. Mcdonald (the neurosurgeon) told me.
They were all wrong, however, in that Shipeng would survived much longer than they thought. He continued to have minimal detectable brain function every day until around the Memorial weekend.
When his coughing ability and other body reflex stopped, they suggested to me to do a brain flow test on him. I resisted and ask them to wait for a few more days. During the memorial weekend, more people have come to visit him. He was surrounded by friends most of the time.
On Tuesday 5/26, they pressured me again for the test. This time, the ICU nurse told me privately, when I ask her, that she was quite sure that Shipeng will not survive that test.
I called a friend over so that she can drive me to home to pack up Shipeng’s favorite biking outfits for his final hours. In the mean time, many others heard about the news of the pending brain test and have come to the hospital to be with us.
When the doctor walked in ICU to deliver the result, I did not bother to get it privately. People are standing by him and all of us took the bad news together. He was pronouced brain dead around 6:00 PM and the hospital will have to take him off life support around 10:00 PM.
What happened between 6-10 PM that day will eternally stay in my memory. Friends came and they packed the hospital guest area. His Cisco manager and director are among them One of his biking friend showed me one of Shipeng special biking outfit in picture, so I ran back home again with friends to find that outfit for him. Two other friends rushed out and bought him new biking outfits, biking shoes and new helmet. People were gathering around and they wanted to stand by him in the last hours of his life.
When he was finally dressed-up in his most special outfit. I asked everyone to wait in guest area. Aurea and I were alone by his bed. We hold his hands and stayed with him after his support being turned off.
His was very peaceful when he left us. His heart stopped at around 10:10 PM. In the end, He freed himself and did not need us to decide anything for him.
The moment following his passing, friends lined up around his bed, one by one, said their final good bye.
On my request, Cisco will organize a memorial service 6/2 in Dallas’ White Rock park, which is his favorite place for biking and family outing.
Shipeng may not have lived a long life, but he was at the happiest time of his life when this happened. I did not want this memorial to be sad so I emailed all of them to share my feeling.
I am deeply thankful for your kindness and friendship. Your visit means a lot to Shipeng, to me and to Aurea.
I will find time to compile a photo book for Shipeng to honor his life. If you want to share a story or picture of him with us, I should be happy to save every bit of his memory from you.
I am sending a picture of him for you to keep. I think he was very very cool on bike and I shall forever value my 30 year of life with him.
We will be your friends for long time to come, thank you both,
Yi